Jul. 19th, 2011

cassieann_69: (sadness/new)
Just put under cut. )Good morning everyone, hope you all have a great day.
I know its only Tuesday but it seems already that this week is going slow.
Maybe its due to all the time I spent alone over the weekend. idk.

I knew breaking up w/R was not going to be easy. The first day was hell and the next two were better.
But I am surrounded by things he bought me and places we went and I find myself thinking of him a lot.
I'm pretty sure that is normal. But it doesn't make it hurt any less.
i worry about him working outside in this heat, he never takes a day off.
I find myself wanting to text him but / 1) i know I shouldn't and 2) I have no idea what I would say.
I guess I just miss the connection ...ya know the every morning "good morning text" and "good night" and any and all the ones inbetween. It just feels like a "clean REAL break" ...and that is because it is. And thats what we needed to do.
I have no doubt about that or my choice. But I still cant get him out of the back of my head. i suppose that takes time.
The way I say it is "I've got 9 years of memories that my heart will never forget".

So on to other things, my beetle really needs to go into the shop. I have one headlight out, one tail light out and no turn signals at all. Plus the engine sounds terrible and occasionally it will idle so high the whole car shakes and sputters and I'm just sure its gonna die, but so far hasnt. (when all that happens the check engine light comes on). I have a bit of money saved up so I guess this is what I'm going to use it on. (hope its enough.)

I keep forgetting to mention that my Alli got (is in the process of) a tattoo. My son Blain designed it. She's kinda a cowgirl ya know and likes horses and smelly stuff like that.(not that there is anything wrong w/that.) and she weres cowboy boots and she has the prettiest belt buckle it is oval shaped and has crystals and a pretty design to it.
Well Blain took the belt buckle an incorperated the tribal like head of a horse w/in the belt buckle design. As much as I did not want her to get it there was not talking her out of it. She's getting it right between her shoulder blades its about 7 inches long and 4 inches high oval shaped. Its big to me. Well she went to get it Friday and had to stop 1/2 way thru due to the pain. She is gonna get it finished  this Friday. Its just black ink. I guess its cool that it is something her brother drew. But I still think of her getting married in a beautiful strapless gown w/this huge tattoo on her pretty back.
Plus sometime at that age I don''t think they are always thinking of FOREVER! Anyway I will post pics.

Well that's about it I've not got much to do today. A tanning appt at 12:15 then I'm going to pick up Dane. (its my day).
Don't know what we will do from there. I need to go to Walmart but will probably do that before I pick him up, its always so much cheaper that way....ya know. The heat index here today is supposed to be between 105-107. I feel for everyone who has to work outside or w/out air conditioning .
Well youall have a good day and I hope it goes by fast for ya.
XOXO
Cassieann
cassieann_69: (Default)

Positive quote for the day::

Whatever you do may be Insignificant
But it's very important that you Do it.


*****************************************************
Ed recovery quote for the day:

Our finest moments occur when we
are feeling deeply uncomfortable,
unhappy or unfulfilled.
For it is only when propelled by
our discomfort, that we are likely
to step out of our ruts and start
searching for different ways or
true answers.
- M. Scott Peck


*******************************************************
Lover's quote for the day:

You tie the knot
when I'm at the end of my rope
You never stop believing in me
when I don't know who I am
or what I'm supposed to be.


*****************************************************
Random quote for the day:

Good byes are like a roulette wheel
you never know where you're going to land.
First your spinning then your standing still
left holding a losing hand.
But one day you're going to find someone
and right away you'll know its true
that all your seeking is done.
Its all just a part of passing through.


********************************************************
Ed quote / possible trigger )
cassieann_69: (driving)
I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal you pain

Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome
and I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away
theres so much left to learn and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Because I'm broken when I'm open
and I don't feel like I'm strong enough
Because I'm broke n when I'm lonesome
and I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore.


(Broken / Seether)

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