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Alone without Grace...
Oct. 11th, 2014 06:57 amShe is so often my only company.
She is made of pure love & loyalty.
She is so much of my whole world .
My wonderful baby Gracie girl<3
I don't know how many of you out there are pet lovers or have pets but Gracie is my little Chihuahua /Jack Russell mix, she will be 8 years old this December 6th and she is my everything. We are always together, she is always by my side. I have R but we don't live together and we see each other about 3 times a week (sometimes more) or as much as possible/ he owns his own business which is VERY busy and so he works a lot/ especially March thru October. And I only have my little guy on Tuesdays and Thursdays.(custody is supposed to be 50/50 but he prefers to spend time at his dads house which is closer to all his friends and in a nicer neighborhood / so we don't push the issue.)
I guess my point is that Gracie is my "constant" companion, she makes sure I never feel alone. She makes me feel needed and loved. Just one look at her little face to this day still fills me with joy and makes me smile. I'm sure someone out there understands this feeling. And this connection I have with her.
I guess the reason I bring it up is because she has had a hard time getting up her stairs to my bed lately so I took her to the vet on Thursday and they found out she had a severe bladder infection. It was to the point that it could not be treated will oral pills so I had to leave her there for IV fluid treatments. I know it's not all that serious and that she will be okay but other then leaving her with my parents and going out of town with Randall once I have never been without her. I started to cry when they took her from me and I developed a migraine that I had all day Thursday and Friday. I finally took my migraine medicine (which I hate to take because it completely knocks me out for like 6 hours) yesterday at 4pm and woke at 10pm and my headache was better but my Gracie was still gone. So I got no sleep last night. All I can think of is how she must feel like I abandoned her. How she must be wondering where I am. And how I hope that even tho I cant sleep that she can.
I get to go pick her up today at 11am...and I don't think I have ever looked forward to anything else so much in my life.
But I have to admit another reason I felt compelled to write about this is that I have realized thru this experience just how attached I am to her. And that even tho I don't think there is anything I can do about it, that maybe its wrong...or maybe a better way of wording "not so good". And according to the reaction to some people over "my" reaction maybe not so "normal".
I not delusional (sorry about the spelling/my spell check is off and I don't know how to turn it back on.) I am a mother and I know the difference between a child and a dog. But I do still consider Gracie to be part of my family. Not unlike one of my children/just not the same...ya know.
And another thing I have learned from this experience is (of course something I have known all along) and that is that Gracie is not imortal. She is going to leave me one of these days. And not that I have to prepare for that right now/not today. It is something that is going to happen and I need to appreciate the time I have with her even that much more. And on some subconscience level begin to prepare myself that there will be life without her in my future. Something I have never let myself think of before.
I'm sorry if this entry seemed pointless or morbid to some...but this is where I come to vent.
And I really needed to vent after two sleepless nights without my girl.
Thanks to any of my friends who actually read thru all this. I love you all.
Cassieann
She is made of pure love & loyalty.
She is so much of my whole world .
My wonderful baby Gracie girl<3
I don't know how many of you out there are pet lovers or have pets but Gracie is my little Chihuahua /Jack Russell mix, she will be 8 years old this December 6th and she is my everything. We are always together, she is always by my side. I have R but we don't live together and we see each other about 3 times a week (sometimes more) or as much as possible/ he owns his own business which is VERY busy and so he works a lot/ especially March thru October. And I only have my little guy on Tuesdays and Thursdays.(custody is supposed to be 50/50 but he prefers to spend time at his dads house which is closer to all his friends and in a nicer neighborhood / so we don't push the issue.)
I guess my point is that Gracie is my "constant" companion, she makes sure I never feel alone. She makes me feel needed and loved. Just one look at her little face to this day still fills me with joy and makes me smile. I'm sure someone out there understands this feeling. And this connection I have with her.
I guess the reason I bring it up is because she has had a hard time getting up her stairs to my bed lately so I took her to the vet on Thursday and they found out she had a severe bladder infection. It was to the point that it could not be treated will oral pills so I had to leave her there for IV fluid treatments. I know it's not all that serious and that she will be okay but other then leaving her with my parents and going out of town with Randall once I have never been without her. I started to cry when they took her from me and I developed a migraine that I had all day Thursday and Friday. I finally took my migraine medicine (which I hate to take because it completely knocks me out for like 6 hours) yesterday at 4pm and woke at 10pm and my headache was better but my Gracie was still gone. So I got no sleep last night. All I can think of is how she must feel like I abandoned her. How she must be wondering where I am. And how I hope that even tho I cant sleep that she can.
I get to go pick her up today at 11am...and I don't think I have ever looked forward to anything else so much in my life.
But I have to admit another reason I felt compelled to write about this is that I have realized thru this experience just how attached I am to her. And that even tho I don't think there is anything I can do about it, that maybe its wrong...or maybe a better way of wording "not so good". And according to the reaction to some people over "my" reaction maybe not so "normal".
I not delusional (sorry about the spelling/my spell check is off and I don't know how to turn it back on.) I am a mother and I know the difference between a child and a dog. But I do still consider Gracie to be part of my family. Not unlike one of my children/just not the same...ya know.
And another thing I have learned from this experience is (of course something I have known all along) and that is that Gracie is not imortal. She is going to leave me one of these days. And not that I have to prepare for that right now/not today. It is something that is going to happen and I need to appreciate the time I have with her even that much more. And on some subconscience level begin to prepare myself that there will be life without her in my future. Something I have never let myself think of before.
I'm sorry if this entry seemed pointless or morbid to some...but this is where I come to vent.
And I really needed to vent after two sleepless nights without my girl.
Thanks to any of my friends who actually read thru all this. I love you all.
Cassieann
