cassieann_69: (sadness/new)
[personal profile] cassieann_69
Total binge day...someone just shoot me now.

Date: 2014-01-31 02:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blueigirl.livejournal.com
I smoke weed. I want it to help me stop too bc I'm on my way to COPD. Husband and I not on good terms at the moment, I was too scared to talk to him about it, but if I did, I would be shot down. Rainbows did not come out. Yesterday was my sisters bday and I called to wish her a happy bday only to find that her, my eldest sister, my mom, and neice were all out eating in Hot Springs, AR and I didn't even get invited- not even mention it to me. Not 1 person called me on my bday. I feel wretched and worthless and unloved. I'm in tears this morning. If it were not for my little girl... :( I'll keep a dim light of hope in my heart that I can make it thru.

Date: 2014-01-31 10:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misspriss-dg.livejournal.com
Sorry for what you're going thru...But you can make it.
Keep me updated.

update

Date: 2014-02-06 03:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blueigirl.livejournal.com
Tuesday we got iced in and I didn't go to work. Me and hub are doing fine, spirits are back up. He said last night "sure is different than last Tuesday..referring to the drama...and I replied "no, I'm still really pissed about some things but I choose not to bring it right now." and then at least he knew I wasn't crazy lol. I left my bottle of Adipex on the gun cabinet, he could have done whatever he wanted with them but he never touched them, nor did I (only 2) but Tuesday evening...I flushed them down the toilet...and it didn't even fase me. I have a touch of regret here and there but not really and I'm proud of that. I think I've been on uppers too long in my life...anyway, just wanted to update.

Re: update

Date: 2014-02-07 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misspriss-dg.livejournal.com
I'm happy to hear you and hubby are doing better.
And glad you feel proud of yourself about the meds.
I was supposed to see my therapist today but after I got stuck in the snow and pulled out / she got stuck in the snow and did not get pulled out. So my appointment got resceduled for the 18th. I REALLY REALLY need to talk to someone about feeling such a lack of control. The weight I am carrying now is all due to age/pre-menopause or something because I have not changed anything at all. And it's DRIVING ME INSANE!!! We have a gym here right down the street that is only $10 a month w/no contract and I think I'm gonna give it a try. R says I'm just wasting my money because I won't go. But I figure so I try it for 2 months and if I don't use it ...I've lost $20..right.(well $30/there is a $10 sign up fee also). Anyway just something I'm considering. Thanks for the update. Take care.

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