Ed winning again today.

[cassieann_69]

Well today has been just a horrible day. I have not felt like doing anything at all. I have literally spent the entire day laying down doing nothing. That includes not eating or drinking. I have no energy but I'm not willing to do anything about it. I know I would feel better if I would just allow myself to eat but it's just not going to happen today. I did finally drink some Sobe. I was just getting way to dizzy. Today is one of those days I am not "not eating" because I think I'm fat or I don't want to get fat, its one of those scarier days when I just no longer feel like I want anything in my mouth. I just cant stand the thought of feeling food in my mouth. Unfortinately sometimes this can go on for a few days. My stomach pains are killing me but it only fuels me more. As if I feel some sick kind of pride in what I am doing. When the truth is what I'm doing is completely STUPID. R is coming over in a bit and he asked if I wanted him to bring something to eat and of course I said no, I thought maybe if I got online and wrote out what I was feeling and how truthfully stupid it is that maybe I would come around and eat something. For now I will just keep drinking and hope for a better tomorrow.

Comments

[indnor.livejournal.com]

-sends a hug your way-

While I cannot quite relate to ED, I do very much know the feeling of not liking ones body - even hating many aspects of it. And I also know very well how certain self destructive habits can become all consuming, and how we frequently feel powerless to change them, even when we know we need to.

I do hope you can bring yourself to eat, even if just a little.

-sends another hug-

[xfattyxl.livejournal.com]

please take care hun and stay well hydrated x