So its after 9pm at night and I still have not eaten and I basically feel like crap again.
(and I have Dane who wants to have movie night.)
I think about all the things we have to eat in the house.
Normally things for Dane. I don't even like to buy food that I know I will eat.
But I think "hey we have some frozen pizza's and I kinda like those".
So I pre-heat that oven thing (I don't cook AT ALL).
It reaches the right temp so I put the pizza in. Its tiny little pizza and I'm
thinking I'll just eat 1/2 of it. Dane can eat the other half if he wants.
So it gets done and its got a nice crispy crust (this is a really cheap pizza
like $1.25 totino's pizza if you know what I'm talking about.)
But it looks pretty good, I cut it into 4 pieces, salt it a bit and I
successfully eat 2 pc's (1/2 the pizza!) and it actually tasted pretty good.
I watched TV the whole time so that i would not even think about what
I was doing.
I give the rest of the pizza to Dane and go back to watching TV.
Then it hits me...mostly psychologically what I have just eaten.
Then I swear that i can feel it inside of me. (which can hardly be possible.
I mean there is no way it was to my stomach yet and it was really such
a small amount of food it really should not have been bothering me.
So physically I cannot stand the thought of it being inside of me.
And for the first time in a long time ...I purged.
Now I feel stupid for purging such a small amount of food.
Or for purging at all for that matter.
Yuck, its gross.
I never want to eat or purge again.
This was one hell of a long entry about a pizza.
Sorry, it really did seem like a big deal on my side of the fence.
Thanks for letting me vent.
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